Task:

Get the straight up

Go to several trusted friends and family members and tell them you would like their honest feedback about yourself. Create an environment where they feel safe being honest and helpful. Hand them the chart below and ask them to gently discuss each line according to their point of view. Be quiet, respectful, and prepared to get information that hurts and that you don't completely agree with. Keep your mind open for things that could be considered "red flags" to someone you might want to date. It honestly doesn't take much for a first date to become a last date so it is very important to get an accurate understanding of the reality of yourself rather than your perception.

Trait-Positive

Trait-Negative

                                              Attitude

accepts authority, loyal                   
rebellious
accepts what's given ignores, rejects what's given
affectionate distant, cold, aloof
aspiring, ambitious, motivated self-satisfied, unmotivated
candid closed, guarded, secretive
caring uncaring, unfeeling, callous
change; accepts, embraces- rejects change
cheerful cheerless, gloomy, sour, grumpy
considerate, thoughtful inconsiderate, thoughtless
cooperative uncooperative, unhelpful, combative
courageous cowering, fearful
courteous rude, impolite
decisive indecisive
devoted uncommitted, uncaring, hostile
determined indecisive, unsure
does what is necessary, right does what is convenient
perseveres, endures relents, gives up
enthusiastic unenthusiastic, apathetic, indifferent
expansive kept back, tight, constricting
faith in life life can't be trusted
faith in oneself lack of faith in self
faith in others others can't be relied on
flexible inflexible, rigid, unbending, stubborn
forgiving unforgiving, resentful, spiteful
focused unfocused, scattered
freedom given to others authoritarian, controlling
friendly unfriendly, distant, aloof, hostile
frugal, thrifty wasteful, spendthrift
generous stingy, miserly, selfish
goodwill ill-will, malice, hatred
grateful ungrateful, unappreciative
hard-working lazy
honest dishonest, deceiving, lying
humble arrogant, conceited, ego-centric
interested indifferent, uncaring
involved complacent, indifferent
jealous, not jealous, envious, covetous
kind unkind, uncaring, cruel, mean
mature immature
modest vain
open-minded, tolerant narrow, close, small-minded, intolerant
optimistic pessimistic
perfects allows imperfection
persistent, sustaining flagging, fleeting, unsustaining
positive negative
practical impractical, not viable
punctual late, not on time
realistic unrealist, impractical
reliable unreliable, undependable
respectful disrespectful, rude, impolite
responsibility; takes- blames others
responsible [ep to 9 levels] unreliable, undependable
responsive unresponsive, unreceptive
self-confident lack of self confidence, insecure
self-directed directed by externals
self-disciplined undisciplined, unrestrained, indulgent
self-esteem, high self-esteem, confidence ? low
self-giving self-centered
self-reliant dependent
selfless selfish
sensitive Insensitive, indifferent
serious frivolous, silly, trivial
sincere insincere, dishonest
social independence social approval required
sympathetic unsympathetic, unfeeling
systematic unsystematic, disorganized, disorderly, random
takes others point of view insists on own view
thoughtful towards others thoughtless, inconsiderate, callous
trusting suspicious, mistrusting
unpretentious pretentious, affected, ostentatious
unselfish selfish
willing does, willingness unwilling, reluctant, recalcitrant
work-oriented convenience first [ep psych/soc]


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